Love and Trust

I can't believe it has been so long since I have updated the blog...oh how time flies!!! It has been a pretty good week....

1. The love of my life and I celebrated THREE YEARS together!! YAY!! What an amazing journey it has been together! He is my support, he makes me laugh like no one else. He has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met. I never doubt his love for me, he truly makes me feel like the luckiest woman in the world! Most of all I love how much how relationship has grown deeper in the Lord. I feel so blessed!

2. Being home these last couple of years has been hard, and being home this week was just the same. So much to explain here...I lived in Colorado for the last 9 years, it was where I grew up, it was where everyone I knew lived. When I left for school 4 years ago, my parents moved to Virginia, so when I "go home" for the summer or breaks...it is not exactly "home" to me. Now first let me say, I truly believe that home is where family is, and my family is SO LOVING, and so amazing. I love and respect my parents more than I could have ever imagined. Family is not where I feel something is missing. When I go to Virginia, I know NO one there...., my parents and brother are gone at work all day and I am left to my defenses, and I often feel the tinge of loneliness. I don't know any other way to describe it than to say I feel like I've been in an awkward transition period of my life for the last 5 years. Everything I own is spread in 2 places, and I am CONSTANTLY unpacking and repacking my bags. Being back in VA this week only reminds me more how ready I am to finish with school, move into my own place and find STABILITY. Establish a "routine" and find the "life balance" I am so desiring. So for now, and for the next year, I will continue to find my stability in the Lord, He is my rock, He is why I am in this stage of life, and I know his purpose if greater than I could ever imagine for myself. I desire only to do his will.

Psalm 63...Comfort and Assurance in God's Presence

It has been a long and exhausting week. Thankfully, I will be heading home for Spring break tomorrow. I am strangely looking forward to my 5 1/2 hour drive by myself. I look forward to this time to worship, pray, and cry out to the Lord for love and guidance. I am feeling emotionally drained after this week and my heart is aching for His encompassing embrace.

Psalm 63: 1-8

Oh God, you are my God, I seek you, my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.

Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.

So I will bless you as long as I live; I will lift up my hands and call on your name.

My soul is satisfied as with a rich feast, and my mouth praises you with joyful lips

When I think of you on my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.

This Psalm causes me to fall on my knees in praise of the Lord, I feel like a small child clinging to my loving father. He who comforts me and soothes my soul.

CaN't SLeeP...

Unfortunately these restless nights come far too often. I got into bed about 3 hours ago and couldn't feel more awake right now. Since the "dreams stealer" is my racing mind, what could be better than to empty it.

Finding my life balance has been something that I have personally been working on for the last few months. I am the type of person that when I am doing something I am dedicated to it. For instance, when I decide that I am going to start exercising on a daily basis I don't just go for a twenty minutes a couple of times a week...no I go for long periods of time, everyday and sometimes twice a day. I love it. I love how I feel when I am running or walking, I love how I feel after, and therefore I want to do it all the time. Also, I am currently a student in my 4th year of college in a very demanding major. During the semesters I become totally ABSORBED in work, I work extremely hard for my grades, and will sacrifice all other things ("me time" and friend time, etc.) just to do work. This also goes for my faith...when I vow to read my bible daily, have my quiet time, prayer, journaling, etc. I go all out! All of these things separate sound great. I see that it is great that I work so hard, it is great that I work hard to be healthy, and more than anything it is great to be absorbed in my faith, but I wasn't living them all out together at the same time. I was only experiencing the extremes. This was unrealistic. About 7 months ago I began evaluating all of this. I recognized the patterns I was going through, and noticing my "breakdowns", my life was unbalanced! I have since been working really hard to find my life balance. I began to worry if I can't balance my faith, school, and health now, how am I going to be able to do it when kids, a husband, bills, a job, etc. are all in the mix. I realized my time is NOW, if I'm going to really learn how to live WELL, I need to learn now. And this is my journey...

My Beautiful Boy Cooper! He brightens up my day! Cooper is the calmest and most loving yellow lab I've ever met (I may be a little biased, but... I speak the truth :)) P.S the big blue ball in front of him is his pacifier, he doesn't go anywhere without it, and when's he's upset he walks around the house with it in his mouth while he whines, hahaha! So funny!

Trying something new...20th century style

This could be the product of avoiding the work that is sitting in front of me, but I was sitting on my floor this afternoon sipping on my coffee (aka crack in a cup) and I decided to start a blog... Not exactly sure why, or where's it's headed but I'm excited about the idea of having a little part of myself out in the world. I don't have any expectations of anyone ever reading this, it is more for me. So here goes nothing! There will be plenty of time to get to know me and for me to share more, but for now this will be enough.

CS

"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

-Proverbs 3:6